Oh memory….. where have you gone?
As I was putting my car keys in the refrigerator the other evening, as a reminder not to leave the house without my snack for later, I realized that there was once a time when I didn’t need to use such tricks to help me remember things.
I just turned 47 and have been noticing this for a year or so. I was never good at remembering names, so that’s nothing new. And I still manage to keep a multi-layered organizational system for life and work. But there was a time that I didn’t have to work so hard at remembering.
It only takes so many times of having to turn around to go back home to get something, that I had reminded myself not to forget just five minutes before I left the house, before you notice something is changing. Maybe something’s wrong with me, maybe it’s normal aging, or maybe it’s having too many things spinning around in your mind at once and a person can only attend to so many details at any given time.
The funny thing is that I worked for twenty years as a speech-language pathologist helping people who were having memory trouble. Even then I realized the irony, as I’d look around my office at the sticky notes I’d leave myself so I myself wouldn’t forget to do things.
I would even leave myself voicemails from work to home, and from home to work, in order to help me remember to do something once I got there. Sometimes when something pops into your head, you know it may not last there for long without a little extra help.
When you slow down to think about it, it’s a wonder any of us remember to do all the things we need to do.
Pay the mortgage and car payments on time so you don’t lose them or lower your credit score. Appointments for doctors, dentists, and veterinarians across every family member. Medication schedules for each person and each pet. Complete your work tasks, grocery shop, pet food shop, make meals, wash dishes, put away dishes, wash clothes, dry clothes, put away clothes, clean the house, and the list goes on. And that doesn’t even include the “out of your normal routine” things that pop up.
When did life become more about “to-do” lists rather than just being able to carpe diem and live it to the fullest in each moment?
It reminds me of “The Sims” video game – have you ever played that? I did once and found it stressful. In it, you are a character in the Sims (Simulated) family who has a certain list of things that need to get done each day, each week, and each month. You have to earn enough money going to your job each day to pay each of your bills, complete all of your home tasks, and if you’re lucky, fit in some recreational activities for bonus points.
The twist is that the better you get at the game, the faster it goes and the more you have to get done in a quicker time. By the time you get buzzed out, you’ve somehow transitioned to auto-pilot and barely process any of the actual things you are accomplishing. Sound familiar?
Hardly a game that gives you a break from the chaos around you, but an interesting perspective on life itself.
As I write this, I am actually trying to remind myself of all of the memory strategies I had taught my patients back when I was on the other side of the desk. Maybe some of them could help you too.
Direct Life Strategies to Help Memory:
- Keep a consistent routine
Do things at the same time each day, in the same order. It then becomes habit, rather than something to remember to do. It also makes retracing your steps easier if you do have to think back to what you have already done or still have to do.
- Put things away in the same place every time
It really doesn’t take extra time to do it, just a little organization, and will help ensure you don’t misplace things. It’s hard to lose your keys if you always put them down in the same place every time.
- Keep closets and drawers organized
Once you’ve got it organized, it’s easy to keep that way and makes it easier to find things when you’re still half asleep and trying to get ready for work or school.
- Keep a monthly calendar in clear view
As soon as you make a new appointment, write it on the calendar. Writing things down is the second best memory strategy, after consistency. You don’t have to worry about forgetting if it’s right there written down for you.
Actually look at that calendar each morning and each evening. A strategy can’t help you if you don’t actually use it. Look at the calendar each morning to see if there is anything out of the norm that day, and look at it again before you go to bed to mentally prepare for tomorrow.
- Create a daily “To-Do” list
Knowing in the morning you have to do something later in the day may not stay in your consciousness after it gets crowded in with all the day’s new information. Each morning write down the list of things you need to do, and keep that list handy all day long.
- Prioritize
Organize that “to-do” list by importance. This will help you make sure you accomplish the things that matter the most to you each day. If you run out of time, get too tired, or get distracted by life and forget to look back at your list, at least you prioritized the most consequential tasks.
- Actually check things off as you accomplish them
It’s motivating to concretely see the progress as you accomplish things, and is a continued reminder of the other things that still need to be done.
- Write out medication schedules in a grid format
It’s too risky to rely on memory for complex organization when it comes to medication. Draw out a grid of days and times, along with what medication should be taken at each time. Check it off (with a different color pen that will stand out) as soon as you take it (or give it). It will take away the chance of not taking it (because you think you already did) or taking it twice (if you think you haven’t yet). It can be used as an overview for ongoing meds or as a cheat sheet for short term ones.
- Fill weekly pill boxes once per week
This can be instead of, or along with, the last medication strategy. Sit down once a week and take the time to organize what should be taken, and when. If you hit those moments when you can’t remember if you’ve taken something already, you’ll more easily figure it out when that cover in your box is open and empty or closed and still full.
- Set timers/alarm clocks to help remind you of time to take medication
This is a “take it to the next level” step to the last two medication strategies. You could set the stove timer, an alarm clock, or a reminder alarm on your phone. If you’re someone who has difficulty with that, you could enlist the help of a family member or friend to call you at the appropriate time as a reminder.
- Plan meals ahead of time
Being prepared helps your grocery shopping trip, and the making of your daily meals, become more time efficient.
- Fill your car’s gas tank on the same day every week
It may sound silly, but it’s a good way to make sure you never run too low on gas when you get super busy and can easily forget to stay on top of it.
- Leave your car keys on top of something you need to bring with you
If you drive, you’re less likely to leave without something you need if your car keys are right on top of it. Mailing out a bill or returning a movie? Leave the keys right on top of it. Lunch or snack for the day? Put your keys right on top of your lunch box or container…. even if it’s in the fridge.
Indirect Life Strategies to Help Memory:
- Get enough sleep
Your brain needs sleep in order for the neurons and neurotransmitters to fire and connect properly
- Keep a consistent sleep schedule
Make a point to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. It can seem tough in the beginning, but before long your body will adjust and get on auto-pilot, making getting enough sleep so much easier.
- Drink enough water
Your body and brain need consistent hydration for it’s cells to function properly. Dehydration happens more quickly than most realize and impairs that function. It is imperative in the function of every part of us to drink enough fluid throughout the day, every day.
- Eat at consistent times
Your body and brain also need a consistent supply of glucose to function. If too much time goes by without nourishment, they will begin to breakdown things it shouldn’t be broken down in an attempt to keep itself running.
- Choose healthy food and drink options
Nourishment is about giving the body and brain what they need to function first, and about taste reward second. Eating only junk food and fast food goes through the motions of eating without providing the building blocks we need to work right. Even if you don’t do it all of the time, try to do it most of the time.
- Make time to exercise
Not only does it help muscles and bones get stronger, but also improves your circulation. It helps get the blood pumping throughout your body which helps get needed oxygen to all of your cells, including your brain cells.
- Practice slowing down and tuning in to yourself
At least once every day, slow down and take a long deep breath. Re-focus your awareness on what surrounds you in that moment. What does your body feel like? What are your thoughts focused on? What are your emotions feeling? Remember that what you focus on grows, so re-frame your focus on what you want your mind to be thinking about, your body to be sensing, and your spirit to be feeling.
As you can see, the repeating theme is consistency. It’s hard to remember random things. It’s much easier to remember things that are chunked together, and happen at the same time, in the same place, on the same day of the week, over and over again. Creating habits helps your memory.
Let the unexpected details in life be the color that keeps things new and interesting. But don’t under-estimate the power of routine and consistency. They are what will create your base outline to keep the picture of your life running smoothly.