Would You Feel Relieved or Slighted if Aliens Abducted Your Spouse?

What does it mean if you write a piece about Extra-Terrestrials, only to have the entire thing disappear right before you can publish it?  Pretty weird, right?  Well that is why there was no blog posted last week,  so here I am now trying to recreate it…..

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I recently watched an episode of a new show I stumbled across called “People of Earth” – a comedy about a support group for alien abduction “experiencers”. 

It got me to thinking – how would I react if I was ever face to face with a being from another planet?   And would I feel relieved or slighted if extra-terrestrials abducted my spouse?

In the show, a journalist comes to town to do a story on these “Star Crossed” encounters.  Most of the folks in the group are stressed out, trying to understand what is happening to them and how to explain it to their families.  And then there is an “alien-ologist”, who has dedicated his life to researching the phenomenon of UFOs and their visits to Earth.  He just can’t understand why the other people seem burdened by it all, when he would give anything to experience the very thing the rest of the group would like to erase…. so he too could be special. 

The grass is always greener on the other side of the galaxy I guess.

There is evidence stating it is more likely that there IS life on other planets than not.  It has to do with the presence of an atmosphere, water, and certain elements from the periodic table – but it’s usually at about that point in my husband’s explanation that my brain starts feeling overwhelmed and protectively redirects my thoughts to Bon Jovi music and what I want to eat for dinner.

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On a lot of levels meeting someone from another planet would be amazing.  Imagine the questions you could ask them and the stories you’d later have to tell.   So I made the decision that it would be ok if they ever wanted to meet up with me to talk. 

If life forms from a galaxy far far away made the trek all the way to earth, one would think they have done their own research and have a game plan to contact the people on our planet who they could learn the most from.  Or at least who would be most entertaining to them for the long ride back home.  No one likes a long ride with someone hard to talk to.

That being said, most accounts seem to happen at night, which also happens to be when it’s dark.  I don’t know about you, but I tend to be at my most open-minded and brave when it is NOT dark. 

The more I thought about it, the more parameters I would have to set around my abduction.  So I modified my answer to allowing them to contact me during daylight hours only. 

That would be a whole different story since I’m much braver in the light of day.  Heck, if they’ve just traveled light years to talk to me, waiting an extra six hours or so shouldn’t be a big deal to them, right?

Otherwise it would be like meeting a new Tinder date at a time when they are totally off their game.  “Geez, she seemed so easy going and warm hearted all these years we’ve tracked her, but when we finally introduced ourselves standing over her bed at midnight all she did is scream and run out of the room with her dogs.  Not exactly the welcome we had expected.  I guess we should have swiped left.”

I guess the whole initial contact thing could get a bit sticky.  Do they call first?  I probably wouldn’t answer, assuming they were a telemarketer.  Do they knock on the door?  If I didn’t recognize their vehicle, I probably wouldn’t answer if I wasn’t expecting anyone. 

“They can’t just pop up out of nowhere”, I added to my mind’s list of conditions.  Text?  That seemed the best bet.  So the new parameter would be that they’ll have to text first to alert us they are going to show up soon.  During the day.

Maybe they’ve already been through this and that’s why they just suck it up and let themselves in.  Who wants to drive all that way just to turn right back around because you think no one was home?

I’m guessing at this point these visitors are strongly considering choosing an alternate, more “go-with-the-flow” Earthling.

But what if they wanted me to leave with them?  I’m not as open to that part of the idea.  After all, who would take care of my dogs?  Even if they brought me back home the next day, I would worry that my husband would sneak our dogs too many extra treats and not watch them as thoroughly as I would when they go outside in our backyard.  No, these beings would need to limit their visit with me to my house.  During the day. 

“But what if they were the reptile-looking aliens?”, I questioned in my mind.   Snakes are already my biggest fear, and they’re from this planet.  Something that looked like a snake, but had legs to keep up with me as I tried to run away?  That would scare me t death, in which case they couldn’t get the information from me that they must have come all this way to get. 

So I again amended my parameter list to only the grey aliens with the big soulful eyes being allowed to come over.  During the day.

I quickly reminded myself of heights being my second big fear, which ruled out getting to know them during a joy ride in their vehicle.  So there it was –  only non-reptilian visitors can come, at my house,  where we will converse safely on the ground. During the day.

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Then my husband asked what I would think if he was the one abducted.  Huh,  I hadn’t thought of that.  “Why wouldn’t they want to talk to both of us?”, I asked.  He reminded me that this was hypothetical, but it opened up a whole new aspect to ponder.

At first my reaction was that it would be a relief.  “Whew!  That was a close one!  Sure glad I chose the side of the bed away from the door and window!”  (Because, let’s be honest, we all pick the side of the bed that will keep us the safest in the event of an unexpected natural disaster or home invasion.  Either that or proximity to the bathroom.)

But it didn’t take long for me to start to change my answer.  What started out as – “I sure hope it’s you they take honey….   But I love you!”   Began to morph into – “Well, it would be interesting to get the chance to talk to them….”   Then turned into – “Why would they want you more than me?  What’s wrong with me??”

It’s not that I like to be scared – I actually very much dislike being scared.  I avoid all amusement park rides by being the one who volunteers to hold everyone else’s stuff – for the sole purpose of avoiding being scared.

But I started thinking about it.  Alien beings from another galaxy just traveled light years into our milky-way system.  They chose this solar system, and then picked Earth as the planet they wanted to investigate for the sole purpose of contacting a human.  They narrowed it down to North America, and then focused on the United States.  They chose Massachusetts, and then picked this town.  They drove all the way to our little street, then actually came into our house.  And left without even trying to talk to me?  They were already here!

They came all this way….   and I was right here in the same house?!  Even if they came for you….  wouldn’t they at least be intrigued enough to talk to me as an unexpected add-on?  Not even a “well, there’s an extra person we didn’t plan on, but since we’re already here, and she’s right in front of us, we may as well talk to her too” ?

I felt a little left out.

“Is it daytime or night?”, I ask my husband.  He raised an eyebrow, looking puzzled.  “If it’s night time, it’s dark, so I’m relieved they didn’t startle me.  But if it’s daytime, and I’m there in the same house, right next to you, and they still only wanted to talk to you?  I think I’d feel a bit slighted.” 

“What do they not like about me?”, I ask him.  “I’m sure they would like you just fine” he assured me.  “Aren’t I a good example of the girl-next-dimension”?, I ask him.  “Well, you’re 47 so you may not fit their “girl” demographic, but I’m sure you’d be perfect for their “woman-who-still-feels-like-a-girl” slot”,  he laughed.

My father happened to call at that point in the conversation,  a dial I‘m guessing he soon regretted.  So we asked for his opinion, “Do you think you would feel relieved or slighted if alien beings came and abducted your spouse?” 

He had a whole other view point on the situation.  He didn’t care about being the one taken or the one left behind.  He just didn’t want to get in trouble for losing the person who was taken.  His main concern was not wanting to get blamed for losing mom.  “What do you mean you let them take mom??”  He had a good point.  We shook our heads,  and agreed with this new perspective.

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Maybe it’s time to re-watch the documentary “ExtraOrdinary” about one couple’s experience with this very thing. The wife’s personal journey as supportive spouse was intriguing – when you’re the one who hears the story and is expected to believe it, but has not experienced any of it first-hand.  What is it like for the person in the inner-circle of the experiencer?  

After all, it wasn’t long ago we looked up at the Big Dipper constellation, trying to pinpoint the entry-way into our solar system that that gentleman drew while under hypnosis.   I remember something they said about time being relative, going by at different rates of speed, depending on where you are. 

Maybe if they did abduct my husband it wouldn’t be so bad.  “You do love getting out of the house”, I say to him.  “Maybe on this end it would give me enough time to clean, and get to see it stay neat for a little longer than usual”. 

I drift off pondering if extra-terrestrial wives have to remind their husbands to wipe the Earth-dirt off their shoes before they walk through the house.  And does the extra-terrestrial husband take off his jacket and drop it on whatever is closest as he walks through the door, or have they evolved beyond the need for clothes?   

We try to figure out what we would call them. 

“Alien” really just means they are not from this country. So that doesn’t seem exotic enough.  “Extra-Terrestrial” at least gives them credit for being  from a planet other than Earth.  Would it be Mr or Ms ET?  “Sir” works,  but I can’t imagine any female being, regardless of where they come from,  not cringing at the thought of being called “Ma’am”.  On “People of Earth”,  they just call the grey one “Jeff”. 

So we decide we’ll just hope they introduce themselves to us by name to minimize that first encounter awkwardness…..  During the day.

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Sitting here, trying to re-create this piece after last week’s mysterious disappearance, starts feeling like deja-vu. 

Will it, too,  meet an untimely demise?  Did something out there make sure these musings didn’t go public?  Has thinking about all of this just over-stimulated my imagination?  Did an alternate-reality “Me” hit the “delete” button just to mess with current reality “Me”? 

If you don’t see future posts,  maybe someone should check-in on my where-abouts…..   just in case!     🙂