Weather as Small Talk: Too Cliche or Great Uniter?

Hurricane Mathew is making its way up the Atlantic and news weather segments everywhere are headlining.  Which got me thinking, is using weather as social small talk too cliche or a great uniting topic anywhere you need a conversation starter?

We’ve all been there.  In those awkward social situations with someone you don’t know trying to navigate those silent pauses. 

Maybe it’s standing in line with the grocery store cashier as they look at you during the monotonous check-out process.  Or maybe it’s a lunch table surrounded by people you don’t know,  but you needed a place to sit and eat.  Maybe you’re just walking in to an appointment,  and you’re not sure who should begin first or where to start.

“So how about this weather?”  “How’s the weather out there?”  “Can you believe this weather?”  Sure, it’s not prize-winning prose, but it sure does the job of filling that initial silence and breaking the ice to get our voices going.

Maybe not everyone finds those moments painful.  Or maybe there’s a lot of people out there, like me,  whose anxiety skyrockets as we wish someone else would talk to take away the dread that it’s our turn to say something.

The cool thing about  the topic of weather is that it’s one of the few topics these days that doesn’t pose the risk of getting people fired up,  alienating a possible new social connection,  or starting a social media tirade. 

Social Media Landmines

We are currently living in a culture that seems to be fueled by controversy.  On the news every day we are shown new protests somewhere.  On facebook we see dramatic monologues from people who “don’t like drama, but….”    Twitter has basically become like Yelp for crowd-sourcing our negative reviews about every person, place, and thing we encounter.

Let’s face it,  online trolls cyber-bully everyone from journalists and bloggers to your next door neighbor posting a vacation photo or personal opinion about a life event.  It’s hard these days to post anything that doesn’t become fodder for someone’s negative comments.

But then there’s the weather.   Sure, we may have differences in what weather we like or dislike.  We may even go so far as to say we love or hate certain types of weather.  But I dare to say that pretty much anything we could say about the weather would never push anyone else’s buttons.

People easily become enraged about things nowadays.  It’s like it’s become trendy to become impassioned and inflamed about things.  To the point that if there isn’t something we are vexed about, we must not care enough.

Maybe they are outraged about what they see as social injustice regarding race, culture, religion, gender, weight, looks, or sexual orientation.   Maybe they are antagonized because someone likes the opposite presidential candidate.  Maybe they are incensed over who just got kicked off “Dancing With the Stars” or “The Voice”.  Or maybe all someone did was say they were excited about something coming up,  and some narcissistic wet blanket felt the need to blast them about all the reasons why they should be ashamed of that.

Many of us in the Northeast hate the cold, wind, and snow.  Some love it.  But even a huge divide in opinion over weather will never trigger a social media war,  verbal assault,  or physical altercation.   It wouldn’t have the power to change your respect or tolerance for that person of opposite opinion. 

And difference of opinion about the weather wouldn’t  even increase  that awkward silence you were trying to avoid by bringing it up in the first place,  as both sides think quickly about what they will say to recover from the staggering blow of disagreement.

Sure, there will be someone out there just looking to argue about anything they can find.  Maybe they will be irate that I’m happy when we have a less frigid than usual winter because it means I don’t care about global warming.  Or maybe they will protest my happiness when it’s not gloomy and rainy because it means it must mean I’m for droughts and against farming.

Everyone’s Got an Opinion

You can’t make everyone happy.  Especially in this social media world where everyone thinks they know about everything and everyone is up in everyone else’s business. 

Maybe some of it is our own fault.  Maybe the era of posting every thought we have as well as pictures of our homes, families, and travel plans puts us within the target of judgment from every “follower” and  “friend”.  

But then again, no one should have to filter or edit their thoughts, opinions, or words solely for fear of others’ judgments,  reactions, and push-backs.  Unless…….   See, it’s that “unless” that gets people into trouble.

You could say unless it’s mean, un-provoked, and un-productive.  You could say unless they are being discriminatory.  You could say unless they are wrong.  And although we all have common sense about what constitutes stirring up the pot just to stir it, or about what is acceptable and what is not,  it could delve into the gray area of subjective opinion.   And how can we sensor opinion?  (Even though we all know that if it sounds like a troll and acts like a troll, it often is just a purposeless troll.)

But I digress.  The topic of weather is usually a safe bet.  We are all united by the topic of weather because we all experience it.  It doesn’t matter what your age, gender, ethnicity, religion, political preferences, education level, work status, etc is.  We’ve all lived through different  types of weather,  so we can all relate to the topic. 

Even if it happens to each of us at different times of the year, most of us have at some time experienced sun, warmth, clouds, cold, wind and rain.   Even if we all haven’t lived through a snow storm, hurricane, or tornado, we’ve at least known their milder versions.  We’ve all experienced how good it feels when the weather goes your way, and how disappointing it is when it gets in the way of your plans.  It gives us a common experience and the ability to empathize with one another.

Cliche  or Great Unifer?

The topic of weather is only cliché because it actually is one thing we’ve ALL experienced, we ALL have opinions about, and we can ALL participate in calm conversation about even if our opinions differ. 

In this way,  the topic of weather really is a uniter,  rather than a divider.

So the next time you find yourself in the social anxiety of that awkward pause,  go ahead and embrace the cliché.   Talk about the weather.   Chances are it’s the one topic that can unify any two strangers looking for a way to connect.