I had reached 20 years as a speech and language pathologist. On the surface, everything was great – good pay, helping people in need, respect from hospital peers – a career that made my parents proud. Knowing that, at 45 years old, I could independently care for myself gave me a secure feeling – I could pay my mortgage, health insurance, and veterinary issues for my dogs as they came up. But I could no longer ignore that inner voice that kept saying “what if…..” . What if I didn’t have Sunday night dread every week? What if I could wake up Monday mornings without a racing heart? What if I closed the door to something known, but filled with anxiety, in order to open another door that, although unknown, just could be the change that would calm all of those anxious feelings?
Although I felt proud to have done that profession, I always wondered – what if I had gone into a veterinary career? I had always loved animals – they calmed me, excited me, peaked my interest to learn more about them every chance I got – heck, my dogs have always been my best friends in the world. So I decided to dip a toe into the other side. My interest was in holistic dog healing – healing the whole animal, not just the western medical issues on the surface. I didn’t think my heart could endure the sadness of trauma cases or euthanasia, so being a veterinarian seemed like it could give me just as much anxiety as seeing human patients suffering. Having been in the rehabilitation field so long, that niche felt comfortable- helping to rehabilitate dogs. I liked the idea of incorporating my Reiki (for which I had my first certification around age 30) and canine massage (for which I became certified for to help my own dogs) with canine rehabilitation in issues of age, weight, and injury. However, only veterinarians, vet technicians, physical therapists, and PT assistants could go through the canine rehab certification process.
Challenge accepted! Before I knew it I had applied to get into a vet tech program (and was accepted) and took classes while still doing speech therapy part time. For reasons that would require their own blog entry, by the end of school I was able to solely focus on school, and though still licensed, was no longer currently practicing in human rehabilitation. I then began taking classes for the canine rehab certification, some online and some requiring travel to Tennessee. I then focused on studying and passing both vet tech national exam and the canine rehab final exam – and successfully passed them both. What a feeling of accomplishment after 20 years away from college!
But the scary thing about a mid-life career change is that, although you are following the path toward something you are passionate about, for me, it was much less concrete, less stable, less financially secure……… but so much less stressful. I realized I hadn’t even taken my extra anxiety medication in months……. My husband pointed out one evening that I was singing to our dogs on a Sunday night instead of being curled in fetal position on the couch dreading the end of Sunday night and fearing what Monday would bring. I realize that I am lucky, and that right now I can lean on my savings and my husband to help maintain the financial status quo until my passion turns into a paycheck. We even started a side business to make extra money – the topic of a later blog. And I made a lot of interesting observations about the differences in going to school and beginning a new career at different life stages – yet another topic for a later blog. But right now, as frightening as it is, I am standing on a path who’s voice had haunted me for 20 years, that voice that sometimes whispered and sometimes shouted “what if….”.